Forever Changed
by futurcullen
Summary: I begged and begged Dr. Cullen to put me out of my misery, to quell the pain and finally free me from this earth. Whatever he'd done to me was creating unendurable pain and I vowed that if I survived this torture, I would make him pay. RxR Please!
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: Characters, main plot lines, etc. belong to Stephenie Meyer._

_This is my first fanfiction so please, please let me know what you guys think. Should I continue on with the story?_

Edward's POV

I had never been oblivious to the chaos that surrounded me. As I entered what was to be my final year of high school, the turmoil caused from the war had created mayhem wherever one went. Add into that the deadly influenza that was ravaging the world and my life was nothing short of hectic.

Try as I might, my mother was vehemently against me going to fight in the war and my attempts at convincing her otherwise had been futile against her strong will. Of course, as soon as I had turned eighteen the following June she would have had no way to keep me from going if I were to be drafted. I knew this was inevitable, so for the time being I had decided to back down from my arguments in order to quell her anxiety.

The thought of going to war exhilarated me. I wanted to be the hero, put my life on the line in order to save thousands, no, millions of people. Everything that came with the war: honor, pride, and even the pain of it all, sounded incredibly invigorating. I needed something to take me away from the repetitive, mind-numbing life that awaited me in Chicago.

It had been only a few weeks into the school year, but the fear created from the Spanish Influenza had caused the administrators to decide and close the school in order to prevent the spread of the disease. This notion seemed ridiculous to me, for in a city as large as Chicago I hadn't need but to walk outside in order to be surrounded by crowds. However, I wasn't going to complain about having an increase in free time.

As I returned home from my piano lesson one fateful evening, I was instantly aware that something was wrong. Under normal circumstances, my mother awaited my arrival so that she could hear me perform my latest song on our old piano in the parlor. Yet, as I stepped through the door on that brisk October night, my mother was nowhere to be found. Just as I was about to call out for her and my father, I heard rustling upstairs, followed by a severe fit of coughing.

I froze. This wasn't a simple cough as though someone were clearing his or her throat. I had heard this cough before and it only meant one thing, the cursed influenza had crawled its way into the Masen home.

Dropping my coat to the floor, I sprinted up the stairs and raced around the corner into my parents' bedroom. I found my mother standing at the bedside as she pressed a cold washcloth to my father's forehead. She turned as she saw me approach, throwing me an anxious glance as my father struggled to hold himself up. He collapsed back against the pillow and suffered a bout of severe chills. My mother stood, helpless, not knowing what else she could do to help him.

"Edward, dear, I think we should take your father to…to… to the hospital," she managed to choke out while holding back her tears. "I don't know what else I can do." I could tell it pained my mother deeply to realize that her husband was gravely ill and I stood rooted to the spot, realization hitting me: my father was going to die.

As if my mother could hear my thoughts, she broke down sobbing, crumpling on the floor next to the bed. Rushing to her side, I pulled up her petite frame and attempted to calm her down. She had to be strong for my father, and though I wouldn't admit it, she needed to be strong for me. Turning towards the bed, I scooped his fevered frame up in my arms. I staggered for a second until my mother's firm grasp caught my arm. Carefully, but quickly, I carried my father's slender form down to our car. Sliding him into the backseat, I hurriedly climbed into the driver's seat while my mother sat in back, holding my father in a tight embrace.

I drove as fast as I could to the nearby hospital, and upon my arrival I sprinted inside to find someone who could help my father. To say that the hospital was busy would be a grave understatement. It was clear they were understaffed, and those working were rushing to and from every room. Frustrated, I ran back to the car to carry my father in.

When I reached the car, I found my father sitting up and attempting to clamber out of the car. For a second, I thought maybe he would have the strength to make it through this, but he nearly collapsed as another coughing spell wracked his body. I wrapped one arm around his waist and pulled one of his arms up around my shoulder. My mother mimicked my actions on his other side and together we helped him into the frenzied waiting room.

I searched the room for any doctor that could help, finally catching the attention of a tall, blond doctor, his skin nearly as pallid as the white lab coat that hung from his shoulders. Just as he caught sight of my mother and my frantic glances, my father suffered another fit of coughs and collapsed, unconscious, into my arms.

Carlisle's POV

It was heartbreaking to say the least. Families crowded together in every niche within the hospital, forced to witness their brothers, sisters, mothers, and fathers die in front of their eyes, while they sat powerless. Others abandoned their kin altogether, fearing the close contact would cause them to succumb to the influenza as well. I couldn't fathom what would drive a mother or a father to leave their child to die alone in an unfamiliar hospital. But perhaps I'm not one to judge, I hadn't lived in a familial setting for over two hundred years.

I thought I understood the ties between families, but the way in which the disease so easily tore apart the close-knit groups made me rethink my preconceived notions. For years I had longed for someone, anyone that could be in on my secret: someone that I wouldn't have had to hide from or lie to in order to remain inconspicuous. The idea of cursing someone to this life appalled me, but as the loneliness became overwhelming, I began to consider the possibilities of doing such an act.

As I began my shift one autumn evening, the thought of creating a fellow vampire was running rampant in my head. I had just started to convince myself that it was immoral to damn someone in such a way, when I heard another outburst of coughing. This was not abnormal under the current pandemic situation, but it caught my attention nonetheless. Turning towards the sound, I witnessed a young man catch a pale, middle-aged man, who I assumed to be his father, as he collapsed into unconsciousness.

Moving at a painstakingly human-like speed, I rushed to the family's side.

The woman spoke first, her piercing green eyes pleading me more urgently then her words. "Please doctor, it's my husband. He returned home from work feeling horrid, and it's just been a mere four hours since then."

I nodded and reassured her that I would do my best. Turning to the boy, I held out my arms and effortlessly scooped the ailing man up. Weaving throughout the crowded halls, I found an empty bed and laid the man down. His family had followed me into the dimly lit room and now stood next to his bed.

Even without a stethoscope, I could tell his breathing was extremely labored. His chances of surviving this were very poor and I was immediately heartbroken for the loss this family was bound to experience.

As though the son could sense my despair, he quietly whispered, "He's not going to make it, is he?"


	2. Final Request

Disclaimer: Characters, some of the dialogue, etc. belong to Stephenie Meyer.

**Carlisle's POV**

As though the son could sense my despair, he quietly whispered, "He's not going to make it, is he?"

His mother chastised him softly, "Don't worry Edward, everything will be fine."

The boy continued to stare at me, knowing that his mother was wrong, waiting for me to confirm his fears. What was I to say? I couldn't lie, tell them everything would be fine, only to have this family's father and husband die before their eyes. But the thought of relaying the heart-wrenching news to them was even more dreadful. I'd had to explain to families before that their loved ones were unlikely to survive, but something about this family made the thought of doing so nauseating, if such a sensation was possible for a vampire.

"I'm sorry Mrs…"

"Masen, Elizabeth Masen." She stammered out with tear-stained eyes.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Masen, but when a patient has reached this stage of the influenza, survival is rare. He must have been feeling unwell for a couple of days now but was most likely ignoring it, believing it would pass on its own. Regardless, I will continue to do everything I can to help your husband through this."

Sobbing, Elizabeth thanked me for my help, "I appreciate what you've done for us Dr…"

"Cullen. And you're welcome." I tried my best to smile sympathetically and reassuringly at the family, but I'm sure they weren't fooled. They knew just as well as I did that they had only a small amount of time left with Mr. Masen.

Turning away from the family, I left the room to continue checking on the hundreds of other patients crowding our hospital. Working as a physician, I was constantly in awe of how fragile humans were. Many of them thought themselves to be nearly indestructible, doing things that were dangerous, only to narrowly survive so that they could do it again. However, whenever an unstoppable disease comes, like the influenza, or the cholera epidemic in London a half-century before, the humans are stopped in their tracks. It doesn't matter who is the strongest, the richest, or the most influential, they are all brought to an equal level, as they fear over the possibility of being the next to succumb to the disease.

I continued on through the night, doing what I could to ease the suffering of those I visited. As I neared the end of my shift, and the sun began to rise on the horizon, I returned to the room in which the Masens sat once more. I stopped, horror-struck, but unsurprised, in the doorway. Mr. Masen was gone, and in the bed where he had lain a few hours before, was his son Edward. Sitting at his side was his mother, dabbing a cold washcloth on her son's forehead as beads of sweat formed on her face simultaneously.

Without turning away from her son, Mrs. Masen spoke softly, "My husband passed away earlier this morning."

"I'm so sorry Mrs. Masen-"

"Please, call me Elizabeth." She stopped what she was doing as a violent fit of coughing ravaged her small frame.

I walked briskly to her side and poured her a glass of water. "Elizabeth, I think it would be best if you laid down and rested for a spell." She willingly settled into the bed adjacent to Edward's and sipped small amounts of water from the cup I held up to her mouth. After a few minutes, she lay down against the pillow and drifted to sleep. I stood, unwillingly, to return home for the day, but a small movement in my peripheral vision caught my attention. Turning, I saw Edward toss and turn restlessly in his bed.

My long dead heart ached for this family and I was confused why I was so much more affected by their pain. For over two hundred years I've remained inconspicuous, which has meant avoiding any kind of close connection or relationship with anyone. But as Edward lay there, fever ravaging his body, the anguish I was experiencing resembled that of how a father would agonize over his sick son.

Edward awoke then, and slowly sat up to take a sip from his water. As he set the glass back down, he began to shiver uncontrollably. The chills were associated with the pneumonia that often accompanied influenza, and it was a tell tale sign that things were bound to take a turn for the worse. I grabbed an extra blanket and wrapped it around his shaking frame, careful to avoid touching him with my ice-cold hands, fearing it would cause the shivering to become more violent.

Surely my shift was long over, but I couldn't tear myself away from the room. I doubted that anyone would mind me working a bit overtime, especially when the hospital needed all the aid it could get. I helped Edward settle back down as the shivering subsided and he drifted back off to sleep. While both Elizabeth and Edward slept, I decided it would be best to make my way home for the day. Working a few hours extra may not be noticeable but working right up until my shift the following night might raise questions. No human doctor would be able to work that long without sleep, and as far as anyone knew, that's exactly what I was: human.

I returned later that night and immediately made my way to the room in which the Masens slept. Elizabeth was very much the same, her breathing was a bit more labored and the fever hadn't subsided in the slightest. My concern heightened however when I took in the condition of Edward. His fever had risen substantially and I could tell from his ragged breathing that his lungs were beginning to fill with fluid. I feared he didn't have much time left and the thought of Elizabeth losing a husband and a son was heartbreaking. Grabbing another cold washcloth, I attempted futilely to lower his fever but I knew it was no use. As I turned to do the same to Elizabeth, she suddenly awoke with a start. At first, I thought it was the delirium overtaking her, but she spoke with such intensity that for a moment, I thought she might have the strength to survive the influenza and pneumonia.

"Save him!"

The force of her words startled me, and I assured her that'd I'd do everything in my power to help her son. She continued with her urgent pleas, her emerald eyes penetrating my carefully composed face.

"You must do everything in your power. What others cannot do, that is what you must do for my Edward."

The composure I'd held mere seconds before faltered as the woman collapsed into unconsciousness. Elizabeth had spoken with such force that I feared she knew more than any human had ever known about the secret I hid. Is it possible she knew I had the ability to save her Edward by unimaginable means? For years I'd toyed with the idea of doing such a thing and now I had someone on the outside pressuring me to do the unthinkable, however inadvertently that pressure may be. Of course, there was no way that Elizabeth knew exactly what I was or what I could do. But the fact remained; she had known there was something I could do that others could not.

Within the hour, Elizabeth had passed away, never having reawaken after her outburst. During that final hour, I had continued to argue with myself over whether or not to change the dying Edward who was now an orphan. At first, I attempted to lower his temperature and cure the boy how I would any other patient. But he was too far gone and I knew his death was imminent. After his mother took her final breath, I wheeled her to the morgue. Having made my decision, I returned to Edward's bedside, prepared for what was to become an eternal undertaking.

Edward's POV

Upon the passing of my father, my mother and I were admitted to the hospital as well. We had both begun to experience the dreadful symptoms and the doctors hoped they could help us, having caught it early on. I was skeptical after seeing how suddenly my father passed, I had little faith in what the doctors and nurses would be able to do.

My mother tended to me throughout the day, even though the nurses begged her to lie down and rest. I knew she was putting her health at risk but my pleas did just as much good as the nurses'. As the day went on, I could tell the sickness was becoming worse, my breaths began to come out in ragged gasps as my lungs struggled to fight against the onset of pneumonia. Sitting at my side, my mother did her best to fight the fever, repeatedly pressing cold compresses against my forehead, but her strain was to no avail; my fever ravaged on.

Eventually, Dr. Cullen returned and was able to get her into her own bed. Relieved that she might start to recover for herself, I drifted off to sleep. I continued slipping in and out of consciousness as the doctor tried unsuccessfully to lower my temperature.

I awoke a bit later to witness my mother being wheeled away, a thin white sheet covering her still form. It horrified me to realize that I was now parentless, but the disease had consumed me so fully, and the delirium had begun to overpower me so much that I could do nothing but lay there. No cries of anguish escaped my lips and no tears fell from my eyes. I saw the doctor glance at me once more, his onyx eyes distressed, as though he were battling with himself internally. Before he'd even fully left the room, I slipped back into unconsciousness.

Now completely alone, I almost wished for a fate like my parents. Death now seemed like the preferred outcome in the situation, for I had no family to go to if I survived. I knew the possibility of me surviving was slim, and I was relatively at ease with my looming end. The thought of dying no longer frightened me and I was actually looking forward to reuniting with my parents in the near future.

I remember seeing Dr. Cullen return to my bedside, tenderly pressing his cold hands to my forehead as though he were caring for his own son. I choked and sputtered as I fought to keep breathing but I knew there was no chance of me living much longer. As I began to convulse in another set of chills, the doctor held my shaking frame still as he pressed the stethoscope once more to my chest. And as quickly as the disease overcame my parents, it overcame me. All of a sudden, I knew I had died, for I was being carried at an impossible speed, and surely there was no human on earth who could run this fast, let alone while carrying a 160 lbs. person.

However, before I could even register the fact that I had passed on and joined my parents, a knife-like pain pierced my skin, and I began to experience pain like never before.

_There will be more from Edward's point of view next chapter. Please review!! _

_Reiews = Motivation = Quicker Updates_


	3. Unendurable Flames

_**First off, I just want to apologize for not updating. I feel awful because I was so excited about getting reviews, and having people favorite me and then I went and didn't write for an unheard off amount of time. Thank you so much if you have still stuck around to read my next chapter. I know it's short but I just had to put something out there for you guys. Shout out to Annahbelle for encouraging me to keep writing!**_

**Edward's POV**

Before this moment, I thought I had experienced pain. A broken leg here, a scrape there, but I had never suffered anything that equated to this amount of pain. Whatever Dr. Cullen had done to me created the terrifying sensation of slowly burning alive. It wasn't even just a sensation. I was convinced that my insides were in actuality turning to ash.

I screamed out in agony for what felt like hours, days, weeks; surely one body couldn't take this long to succumb into unconsciousness. I'd thought that I had died, but this couldn't be any kind of afterlife, unless I'd gone to hell. However, I couldn't think of any previous actions that would warrant me a trip to such a place. I begged and begged Dr. Cullen to put me out of my misery, to quell the pain and finally free me from this earth. My screaming did nothing though, and I was convinced this man sat there just watching me suffer, what kind of person inflicts pain on another and then sits by to watch them endure such agony? If I ever survived this hell on earth I vowed to myself that I would make him pay.

**Carlisle's POV**

Oh God, please, please forgive me. What have I done? Not only have I inflicted unendurable pain upon this innocent young man, but I've now condemned him to a life he may not have wanted. If he suffers in this new life I will know it was my fault. As he lies screaming I can't bear to think that he will detest what I've done. Since my own transformation, I've discovered my need for another to share my secret. I need Edward to forgive me, to stay with me. Although I would never force him to, I desperately hope that he chooses to stay with me.

But who was I to choose who stays on this earth eternally and who gets the luxury of escaping to an ethereal heaven. I don't deserve to have such a kind-hearted, intelligent person to ease my loneliness. My act was selfish, and whether or not Edward forgives me I doubt I'll be able to forgive myself for performing such an atrocious deed.

**Edward's POV **

At some point, my screaming ceased. The pain was far from ceasing itself, but I found that my mind had retreated into some sort of dark abyss and I couldn't scream anymore. I was still being consumed by fiery flames, when suddenly, my heart began to race. It was beating at unnatural speeds, quickly surpassing that of the heartbeat of a hummingbird. It felt as though it were going to pound right through my chest cavity. At first, I panicked. What more could happen to me now? But my question was answered moments later when the fire that had been ravaging my body migrated to the center of my body, congregating in the heart itself. It brought relief and an immediate coolness to my extremities, but the blaze in my chest was a hundred-fold of the pain I'd experienced for the past few days. My throat constricted, I sucked in my last gulp of air, and it felt as though a string wrapped around my heart and pulled my entire body up in a final convulsion, before my heart beat for its final time.

**Review s'il-vous-plait**


	4. Explanations

_I'm been super busy with school now so I don't think my updates will be as consistent as I'd hoped. Thank you to everyone who has continued reading my story! I have a question for you, would you prefer that I release another chapter every week or two or write a bunch of chapters and upload them all a long time from now?_

**Edward's POV**

I lay perfectly still for a few seconds, afraid to open my eyes and witness whatever kind of afterlife I'd painfully entered. Throughout my entire life I'd never imagined that the entrance into heaven or hell could be so agonizing.

_He's relatively calm for a newborn, maybe I did something wrong._

This sudden voice startled me, and I sat upright quicker than I would have thought imaginable. My head turned quickly to the side, registering that I was not alone, and my body sprang up, crouching into a defensive stance. Whoa. If I'd had any hope that I was still alive, the inhuman-speed I just experienced threw that possibility out the window.

_Now that's more of what I would expect from a newborn vampire._

The calm, yet hesitant voice snapped me out of my reverie. "Did you just say there is a vampire here? Surely you can't believe in such a preposterous thing." I assumed that a scholarly man such as Dr. Cullen would know better than to believe in mythical creatures. However, his eyes widened and he looked at me as though I were crazy.

_He couldn't...I mean I suppose there are the gifted ones...those reborn with special abilities..._

"How are you doing that? Speaking without moving your lips?" Maybe I was crazy, because I'd heard Dr. Cullen clearly but his facial expression never changed. He was really starting to frustrate me and I was reminded of my vow to get back at him for the pain he'd caused me.

"I apologize Edward, but I suppose I need to explain a few things to you."

**Carlisle's POV**

Edward could read minds. This realization was overwhelming and I knew I needed to explain to Edward what he'd become before his frustration overcame his current state of control.

"I'm not sure if you remember me or not but-"

"You're Dr. Cullen, you treated me and my family at the hospital," he interjected.

"Well, yes. But I need to tell you a bit more about myself, and why I've brought you here." Edward remained silent so I continued on with my story. I deliberated a second, deciding on the best way to tell someone that they're a vampire, when he interrupted.

"A vampire. That's what I've become?" I'd already forgotten about his apparent power and I immediately began to hide my thoughts from him by reciting the latest discovery I'd read about in my medical journal.

"Yes, I'm a vampire as well and I changed you into one in the hopes that you would be a companion of mine." I waited patiently to see how he would react, and I exhaled unnecessarily when he remained silent. Hopefully he was in actuality this calm about the transformation for I knew if he were to attack I wouldn't be strong enough to fight off his newborn strength.

"You see, I've been alone for over two hundred years, yearning for someone with whom I could share my secret. It was your mother who finally convinced me to change you."

"My mother? Don't you dare try to blame my eternal damnation on my mother." Edward roared with rage. His sudden outburst got me off guard after his calm state mere moments ago.

As he prepared to lunge at me, I held out my hands in surrender, willing him to hear me out before he lost control. "No, no, I merely meant that she helped me convince myself that it would be okay, that I was making the right choice..." I trailed off, my head tilt down and my eyes surveyed the floor, wondering if this was all a huge mistake after all. Elizabeth Masen's words replayed themselves in my head and I opened my thoughts up to Edward, so he could see what I meant. As he watched his final moments play out before him, he relaxed out of his defensive stance.

"I'm so sorry Edward, I'll understand if you hate me so much as to leave me, but I beg you to at least stay until you become better acclimated to this life." I wanted to explain to him my diet in the hopes he may abstain from killing humans as well. "Nearly every vampire I've ever met has been content, if not passionate about surviving off human blood. Since my transformation, I have found the idea of ending a human's life to satisfy my own appetite an appalling lifestyle."

I paused to gauge the boy's reaction, and was ecstatic to see he had calmed down and was listening to my story with rapt attention. "So, instead, I feed off of animal blood, and although I can't make you, I was hoping you'd choose this diet as well."

Suddenly, Edward's calm facade disappeared, and he yelled out in fury, "So let me get this right, first you decide you are going to force me to endure three days of unimaginable pain. Then inform me I've become a murdering monster that has to spend every day of eternity fighting what it is meant to do, kill? I assume for eternity, correct? If the stories I've heard about vampires are real then I'm immortal, right?"

I nodded, hesitantly, afraid of what Edward may do. I didn't have to wait long to find out. Before I could placate his current frenzy, he lunged for my throat.

**Sorry about another short chapter, but I wanted to get another one out to you guys. Please, please review, that's what urges me to continue on!**


	5. Thirst

I'm so sorry everyone, I'd begun to give up on writing this story but I found this small chapter I'd forgotten about so I'll post it and see what happens. It's short, and I haven't really proof read it because I just wanted to get it out to any of the readers who have stuck around during my lack of writing. Thanks for reading! And all characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

**Carlisle's POV**

I should have known. I should have seen that coming. My average, rarely-used, fighting skills were no match compared to Edward's newborn strength. He held me pinned to the wall, my feet dangling a good foot off the ground as his hand remained stationed around my throat. Had I needed oxygen to survive, I would have been unconscious by this point, but as that was not the case I hung limply from his iron grip. Instead of attempting to speak out loud, I pleaded with the young man through my thoughts.

_Edward, please, of course I'm not blaming your situation on your mother. I had already decided to make myself a companion. I just couldn't bear to let you die, you still have so much potential ahead of you and I couldn't let all of that go to waste. Elizabeth asked me, no, pleaded with me, to save you, to do everything within my power to ensure that you survive. Transforming you was inevitable, your mother's wishes simply reassured me that I was making the right choice._

I hoped my earnest response would be enough to stop Edward from making any drastic decisions regarding my survival. As my words fully registered with him I saw a miniscule change in his expression. The hard glint in his eyes had softened minutely and his grasp on me slackened ever so slightly.

_You don't have to stay. I will understand completely if you can't stand the thought of being with me._

Even as I thought these words, I knew I couldn't fool myself. Already I was feeling fiercely protective over the boy that stood before me and the thought of reverting back to my solitude nearly made me take back what I'd just told him. My goldenrod eyes stared unwavering into the crimson that had overtaken his emerald irises, silently begging him to calm down and let me go. The attempt had my desired effect. Edward slowly lowered me back down to the ground, my hand going to massage the place where his fingers had held a vigorous grip on my neck. He stepped back, appearing remorseful for his sudden attack. However, I remained cautious, after witnessing how quickly his emotions could alter.

"I'm sorry." He cast his eyes downward, seemingly embarrassed to meet my gaze after his outburst. "It's just a lot to take in. My family and I were very close, and to suddenly be alone while having to adjust to...to...this..." he gestured to his newly transformed form, "I just lost my head."

"That's perfectly understandable Edward, the transformation is an overwhelming experience. If it's alright, I'll tell you a bit more about the life I've created, the life I've lived since my own change. Then you're free to leave if you so wish." My voice trailed off at the end, desperately hoping he chose not to do so.

Edward seemed to think for a moment, then swallowed thickly. "That would be fine, but is there anything I could do to soothe this burning in my throat first?"

"Oh! Of course! How could I forget about that initial thirst, when the burning is nearly unbearable." I apologized profusely to the clearly suffering boy, and turned to enter the woods that encroached the edge of the house.


End file.
